Hope House's Fight Against Gender-Based Violence

In the heart of Cape Town's communities, a quiet revolution is taking place. Since 2004, Hope House Counselling Centre has stood as a beacon of hope for survivors of gender-based violence, offering donation-based counselling and support to those who need it most. During the 16 Days of Activism campaign, we sat down with Deputy Director Natalie Doman at their Kuils River center to discuss the challenging but vital work they do every day.

PICTURED: From left: Bush Radio presenters, Jasnine Roberts and Nosi Sogoni; Deputy Director of Hope House, 

Natalie Doman

More Than Just Physical Violence

When most people think of gender-based violence, they picture physical abuse, but as the team at Hope House emphasises, the reality is far more complex. Gender-based violence encompasses emotional abuse, psychological manipulation, financial control, and gaslighting—forms of harm that often leave no visible scars but can be equally devastating.

"Our people understand GBV as just physical abuse, but there's different types," explains Vatiswa Sobezo, a social worker at the Khayelitsha center. "You get your emotional abuse when someone abuses you emotionally by using words. And you also get your psychological abuse where they play with your mind to try and convince you that you're not worth it and you're nothing without me."

This manipulation keeps many survivors trapped, unable to recognize the abuse for what it is. The question becomes: How do we equip people to identify these subtler forms of violence?

The Challenge of Recognition

One of Hope House's primary goals is helping survivors recognise abuse in all its forms. Many people, especially from older generations and certain communities, have been conditioned to believe that staying and "working things out" is the only option—particularly if there's no physical violence involved.

"A lot of people are not familiar to identify the signs," notes the interviewer. "They think, 'He didn't beat me, so I can't say I need to leave.'" This mindset, reinforced by cultural expectations and generational patterns, creates an invisible prison that can be harder to escape than a physical one.

The work of breaking these cycles requires patience and individualized care. As Natalie explains, "Every situation is different, and you can't just generalize everything. It is important to be able to work with that person to see how that specific person's situation is different and how we can navigate that to come up with a solution."

A Collaborative Approach to Safety

Hope House doesn't work in isolation. Their strength lies in partnerships with courts, police stations, and social development services throughout the Western Cape. This network is crucial for survivors who have lost faith in the justice system.

While many survivors feel that reporting abuse is futile, Hope House provides what they describe as a "safe space"—somewhere to be heard, believed, and supported through what is always a complex process.

The reality of leaving an abusive situation is rarely straightforward. "It is definitely a process and it's something that the female or the wife or the partner definitely needs to think about and be completely sure that this is what they are going to do," Natalie acknowledges. Hope House assists in finding safe spaces and works with organizations like SAPS and social services, though the process can be challenging, especially when someone decides they need help immediately.

Supporting Children in Crisis

The center also provides crucial support for children affected by violence. While legal restrictions prevent counselling children under 12 without parental consent, Hope House typically uses 16 as their age marker. When children arrive seeking help, particularly those who fear for their safety, the staff can connect them with police and social services to ensure proper procedures are followed.

This work with children is especially critical in areas like the Cape Flats, where violence is often driven by multiple factors including substance abuse, poverty, and intergenerational trauma.

Breaking Generational Patterns

Perhaps the most challenging aspect of Hope House's work is helping shift mindsets across generations. While younger people are increasingly refusing to tolerate abuse in any form, older generations often hold onto beliefs that prioritize keeping problems private and staying in marriages regardless of circumstances.

"The younger generation are getting more awoke," the conversation notes. "They're not tolerating that. If you've left your hands or manipulated me or any form of abuse, I have the chance to stand up and walk away."

The question remains: How do we change these deeply ingrained patterns? How do we break what has become a generational curse?

The answer, according to Hope House, lies in education, empowerment, and equipping people with tools to make informed choices. Their workshops focus not just on identifying abuse, but on building the skills and self-worth necessary to envision and create a different life.

PICTURED: Bush Radio presenters, Jasnine roberts and Nosi Sogoni; Vuyo Bopi and Vatiswa Sebezo, social workers at Hope House counselling centre

The Reality of Seasonal Spikes

Natalie observes that statistics for gender-based violence tend to increase during certain times of the year, particularly around holidays when stress, alcohol consumption, and family tensions rise. While society talks about these issues intensely during campaigns like the 16 Days of Activism, the reality is that survivors need support 365 days a year.

"Gender-based violence thrives in silence," the broadcast reminds us. The work doesn't stop when the campaign ends.

How You Can Help

Hope House operates entirely on donations, making community support essential to keeping their doors open. They currently have a campaign asking people to consider donating 50 or 100 rand per month. As Natalie points out, "If 50 people pay R100 per month, it's something we can work with."

For those interested in supporting this vital work, donations can be made through their website at www.hopehouse.org.za, with options to support their centers in Khayelitsha, Kuils River, or Tokai.

Our Role in the Fight

The 16 Days of Activism campaign reminds us that we all have a role to play in ending gender-based violence and femicide. Whether through supporting organisations like Hope House, speaking out against violence, educating ourselves and others, or simply believing and supporting survivors when they find the courage to share their stories—every action matters.

Gender-based violence is not just a women's issue or a seasonal concern. It's a societal crisis that demands year-round attention, resources, and collective action. Organisations like Hope House are on the front lines of this fight, providing the compassionate, individualised care that can help survivors not just escape violence, but rebuild their lives.

Their message is clear: your mental health matters, help is available, and you don't have to face this alone.

 

Written By: Jasnine Roberts